Regret
by Edgar Altherion
Summary: Panty have to learn in a hard way that regret always comes last. / Genderbend PASWG characters with char death in it. Be warned. Rate T for vulgar words.


**Hello guys, this is my first PSG fanfiction. Just discovered this awesome -yet raunchy and vulgar- show, and I've fallen in love with Brief. That poor dude, constantly called 'Geek Boy' and treated poorly by the Anarchy sisters. Oh well. At least the 'Panty + Brief' episode is sweet enough.**

 **And now, while waiting for the second season, I decided to write a fanfic featuring genderbend Panty and Brief! But since I'm evil, I will make this SUPER angsty with char death here! :D**

 **Well, prepare some tissue boxes, coz you're gonna need it. Or, if you can't stand it, I reccommend you to close this tab.**

 **Without further ado, let's begin this story.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own PSG, it belongs to Gainax.**

 **Pair: male!Panty x female!Brief**

 **Warning! AR, Grammar errors, bad english, vulgar words, OOCness overload, depressed and broken Panty later on, char death, angst and a little bit of tragedy.**

* * *

Regret always comes last.

Panty knew that. He knew from the very start.

The problem is, he never experience it. He never experience what is it feel. To feel regret, to feel _sorrow_.

As a manwhore kicked-out angel who slept with different girls -and guys if he felt like doing something different once a while, he never feel what regret is. He never regret it when he just fucked randomly different girls every night. He didn't care at all if his partner enjoy the sex or not, if his partner truly in love with him or just using him for their, and his, own stress reliever.

He didn't care, and he didn't regret his choice of activity to spend his time.

That is, until he met her.

She's one of the geekest and the nerdiest loser he ever met. Freckles covered her cheeks, orange bangs covering her eyes (could she see her surroundings like that?), shy and always stutters whenever she speaks, and not to mention her obsession over science-fictions and occults.

Panty knew that she's in love with him, the moment she laid her eyes on him. But no matter what, they could never be together. Panty knew that, and she knew that. A sexy, hot adonis like him and a geek, occult-obsessed otaku like her will never be fit.

But foolishly enough, she continued to love him. Despite his poor attitude towards her, despite his cruel remarks to her, despite him always calling her 'Geek Girl', not once calling her with her given name, Briefers Rock.

Love is truly a foolish thing.

* * *

No matter how hard Panty pushed her away, she always come back. She never back down, she never leave him alone like those who had sex with him and then just left him. She always tries to stay besides him, or at least, follows him behind.

Which frustating him to no end.

What did she gain by falling in love with him? What's the purpose behind those attempts asking him out of date? Sex? No. He once asked that to the Geek Girl, and the response he get was a ridiculously red-face, while she tells him to 'take it slow'.

If sex isn't what she wants, then what is it?

"Why do you love me?"

It's just a sudden question, on a random evening, when he accidentally meet her on a park nearby the church. He's in search for hot chicks to be his heat partner tonight, and Brief... well, she said that she just want to take a walk, that's all.

Her answer, albeit with stutters and spoken in low voice, surprised him.

"I-I love you, b-b-because you a-are you. Y-you are confident, and you a-are always out-spoken. Y-You never care for what other people's o-opinion about you."

He was left dumbfounded by that answer. And he found himself thinking about those words, even when he went to bed that night.

And for the first time ever, he found himself sleeping without having any of his late night sex routine.

* * *

Panty was no amateur when it comes to sex. Mention any kind of positions, or any kind of kinky things you'll found in sex dictionary, and he'll do it.

However, when it comes to love, a _genuine_ love, well... he's certainly not a pro.

That's why he was beyond pissed off with this new feeling churning on his gut.

He always feel a warm feeling whenever he's with the Geek Girl now. His heartbeat goes faster whenever she speaks to him. And not to mention an immense happiness and butterflies fluttering in his stomach whenever she praised him.

He didn't know what are those feelings, and was left frustated by it.

So one day, he pushed her away. He pushed her away, harder than before.

"God damn it, Geek Girl! You're pissing me off! You always follow me like some fucking lost puppy, and you always whine! What are you, a bitch who's not satisfied by numerous dicks shoved into your mouth? Admit it, you want to have sex with me, don't you? Answer me!"

She blushed at the mentions of those raunchy words, and stutters, "i-i-it's not l-like that! I-"

"I'm tired with your fucking excuses. If you're not here for sex, then get lost. And stop stuttering like some dumb bitch!"

What he didn't expect was a pang of guilt and feeling of thousand knives stabbing through his heart, when he saw her tears. She was crying.

Before he had the chance to take back what he says, she ran away.

* * *

Panty can't concentrate at all.

After that day when he cruelly brushed her off, he's not able to focus on anything. Even when he had sex.

And that's why he found himself struggling against this troublesome Ghost.

No matter how hard he tried to shoot that Ghost, his aim always miss. He just can't seem to focus on his job right now. Her crying face were always on his mind.

"Pull it together, Panty! Seriously what the hell is wrong with you!" His brother, Stocking yelled, as he slashed one of the Ghost's sharp tentacle that got to close.

"I'm fucking trying alright?! Just shut up Stocking!" Panty roared in frustation. He tried to shoot the Ghost's head, but suddenly, he found his body thrown by force.

One of the Ghost's tentacle managed to hit him, and now prepares to stab him, ending his life once for all.

For the first time in his life, he felt something that he never experience before.

Fear.

And he could only watched helplessly as the sharp tentacle went straight to where his heart is. Panty closed his eyes, waiting for the pain to come.

Except, he never feel the burning pain.

Slowly he opened his eyes, and he saw the horrendous sight that made his throat constricted.

Brief stood in front of Panty, shielding him. And the razor tentacle was embedded deeply in her stomach.

Warm blood spluttered from her mouth, and as the tentacle withdrew from her body, she collapsed, with pool of blood from her deep hole in the stomach.

Panty couldn't breath nor think rationally anymore. He wanted to erase the image of her slowly dying figure, yet he can't tear his eyes away from her, like he wanted to etch that tragedy in his memory forever.

And he could barely register an ear-splitting scream full of sorrow that came out from his own throat, before every surrounding around him turned red.

* * *

The funeral was exactly like Panty imagined to be. Black clothes, violinist playing depressing tunes, weeping sounds and soaked tissues, cloudy weather with rain pouring over the earth, a boring eulogy read by the priest.

Brief's parents stood in front of their daughter's coffin, her mother crying softly and her father silently weeping for his daughter's tragic death. Several of her equally geek friends from school were invited, and they also silently mourning over their friend's death.

Brief wore a plain strapless white dress with small pink roses adorning the hem of the dress, and her ginger hair was tied in bun with red ribbons. Her coffin was full of all kinds of colorful flowers, as if they're intended to hide her now cold and pale skin. White lillies, daffodils, roses with different colors, tulips.

 _She's so pretty_ , Panty thought, _she's so fucking pretty, it hurts._

Stocking, who also attended the funeral glanced at him, and lightly patted his shoulders.

"If you want to cry, do it. No one will notice."

His pride didn't allow it. Fallen angels and a manwhore weren't supposed to cry.

But only when her coffin was lowered into her last restplace did he let a single tear drop, merging with the raindrops trickling on his cheeks.

* * *

 _Kill the Ghosts. Collect heaven coins. Don't remember her._

 _Kill the Ghosts. Collect heaven coins. Brief. Geek Girl. Don't remember her._

 _Kill the Ghosts. Don't slack off anymore. Bang. Bang. Bang. Collect heaven coins._

 _Return to heaven. Kill the Ghosts. Brief. Brief. Geek Girl._

 _She's dead. It's all my fault. Brief. Brief. Kill the Ghosts. Sorry. Heaven Coins._

 _Sorry. Brief. Kill the Ghosts. It's my fau-_

"Panty?"

The psychological warfare of his mind were interrupted by Garter. The afro priestess looked at him worrily.

"...what." Panty's own voice are monotone, dead until its core.

Garter almost flinched, because the voice itself sounds so hollow, so unlike Panty. That's the voice of someone who lost all they held dear, waiting for death to take them, so they can meet the ones they loved again.

Panty had just lost his one and only person who loved him no matter what, killed right in front of him.

What a traumatic experience.

"Stop grieving over her, boy," Garter sighed at a heated glare thrown to her, "I know, I know that it's not easy to forget about her, but if you continued to be like this-"

"Shut the fuck up, Garter, you don't know anything. Now leave me alone," Panty said harshly, and then continued mourning.

Garter gritted her teeth, "Panty! You can't keep being depressed like this! It's been affecting your heatlh and your job-"

"Job again, freaking job again! It's always that! Killing the ghosts and collect the heaven coins, and look what I get!" Panty roared, standing up suddenly, "the heaven didn't even give a shit about us while we worked hard defeating those fuck up Ghosts, and the last time I did that, I saw someone fucking killed in front of me! She's dead because of my _job_! She's dead, DEAD, FREAKIN' DEAD!"

Garter stared at Panty with widened eyes, as the young man in front of her panted and wheezed after his initial outburst. Panty slowly sanked on the soft sofa behind him. He covered his face with his hands, his body trembled as he cried softly.

Panty is slowly falling apart.

"...Panty," Garter called softly, "you can cry all you want, but do you think Brief will be happy about this?"

Panty froze.

"Instead of blaming yourself about what happened, you have to move on. Cherish every memory you have with her, no matter how bad it is. Thank God in heaven for sending one person who loves you unconditionally. Live and don't make the same mistake again."

The young man didn't give any response. Garter sighed for the umpteenth time that morning before stepping down from the altar.

"Panty, it's not only you who mourn over her death. There are people who were equally as sad as you. Her family, her friends..." Garter placed her hand on Panty's shoulder, "but they decided to carry on with their life. For her."

"...what do you mean... for her?" Panty asked, lifting his head.

Garter smiled, "didn't you understand why she would sacrifice her own life for you? It's for you to continue to live, so you can protect Daten City. So that the people will be happy and safe. She only wanted safety for her beloved ones. And they all repay it... by continue to live happily. They honored her death by living to their fullest."

Panty's eyes widened, and slowly, he softly chuckled, "that fucking idiot Geek Girl..."

"And yet you fell in love with this 'idiot Geek Girl'," Garter said playfully and walked out from the church.

"Garter!" Panty called out before the afro priestess got out, "... thank you."

The door closed with a loud 'thump' but Panty could still hear Garter's response.

"Anytime, my boy."

* * *

 _3 months later..._

Stocking placed a bouquet of white lillies on the ground, just few inches in front of the tombstone.

"You're late again."

Panty scowled at his brother, "well, at least I got her favorite flower while you just keep giving that plain lillies. Boring."

Stocking returned the scowl by scoff. Hearing no response from the goth-boy, Panty slowly put his own bouquet besides Stocking's.

"White lillies represents death, so it's an appropriate flower to give at someone's grave, you dead-brain," Stocking glanced at Panty's bouquet, "... and what's that?"

"Carnation," Panty absently plucked the wild grass under his black shoes, "took a while for me to meet that old woman, but I finally know from Brief's mom about her favorite flower."

"You called mine plain, and yet you also brought white-colored carnation."

"It represents innocence or pure love, you blockhead. I think it's quite fitting for her."

Stocking didn't answer, and just stared at the neat writing on the tombstone.

 _Beloved by her family, cherished by her friends_

 _Briefers Rock_

 _May her soul rest in peace_

Cliche. Yet that simple writing could bring many people into tears. Stocking glanced at his brother who didn't say anything.

"Panty," Stocking said, "did you regret it?"

Panty stared at Brief's tomb for a while, before he smiled softly.

"No, I didn't."

The fallen angel stood up, and as he sighed contently over the light breeze, his smile widened into a genuine smile, before he whispered.

 _"Falling in love with her is the best thing I could do in my whole life."_

* * *

 **...and what the heck I wrote just now?**

 **This shit is really horrible, I know. But please leave some comments or critiques. Flames are acceptable too, as you flamers are just so funny, that I pity you and your foolish mind.**

 **See you in my next fanfictions!**

 **Edgar Altherion**

 **January 8, 2016**


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